When you love deeply, the pain cuts sharper. This is what my husband said after we lost our beloved red standard poodle, Tigger, to an aggressive cancer just two weeks ago. You may remember Tigger—he was a constant presence in nearly every video I made. Parents and 2e adult clients who met in person often found comfort lying on the floor with him after our sessions or petting him as we discussed their challenges. Tigger brought peace to my heart, especially when my much-loved father passed away. He provided the needed breaks and companionship while I wrote my book, always close by, never more than three feet away. The profound connections I form with both humans and animals epitomize the intertwined pleasure and pain of emotional overexcitability. Especially in the face of loss, self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love are vital for a 2e person to rediscover joy in life.
Self-Awareness
Emotional overexcitability in 2e individuals is often misinterpreted by neurotypical people as being "overly sensitive" or self-centered. They might wonder why someone takes up so much emotional space, assuming it's for attention or a lack of self-awareness. In reality, the 2e person is baffled by how others don't grasp their deeply felt, organic emotions. This often leads to shame about their intense feelings and reactions. However, when empathy is shown to a 2e person, when they feel seen and understood, they are profoundly grateful. Perhaps this is why 2e individuals form such deep bonds with their pets, who accept them unconditionally.
When Tigger passed away, we decided to create a zen/meditation space in his honor. I visited a local quarry to buy stones in Tigger’s color, burnt sienna, to place in front of our porch where he loved to keep watch. Amidst the noise of trucks and machinery, I found myself sharing with the clerk why I was buying the stones, immediately questioning if I seemed crazy. Instead, he offered sincere condolences. Another worker, who had his puppy with him, asked if I’d like to meet the pup. Looking into those puppy eyes was therapeutic, the first since losing Tigger.
These strangers, from a world so different from mine, allowed me to be my authentic self, and for that, I was immensely grateful. I returned to the quarry with some of Tigger’s treats for the puppy. Their empathy for my open-heartedness, rather than skepticism or eye-rolling, was a balm.
Self-awareness in 2e people can lead to over-compensating and masking. I might have suppressed my thoughts, anticipating skepticism or hostility from the clerk. Often, twice exceptional people second-guess, hide, or criticize themselves for their feelings, leading to frustration and diminished self-confidence. Instead, 2e individuals should learn to accept themselves. While it's important to consider how behaviors affect others, embracing one's genuine self and practicing self-care during intense emotional times is crucial.
Self-Acceptance
When twice exceptional individuals understand and become aware of their true selves, they open the door to self-acceptance and self-love. 2e children and adults often hear they need to be “more” or “less,” which undermines self-acceptance and self-love. Rather than absorbing these deficit-focused comments, 2e individuals should reflect on the values behind their big emotions—fairness, justice, empathy, or loyalty.
No comments:
Post a Comment